“Being cut off from our own natural self-compassion is one of the greatest impairments we can suffer.” ~Gabor Mate
It was late at night, and I couldn’t sleep. I could almost feel the fear explode in my chest. I tried to identify the singular cause of the fear, but it didn’t feel like there was just one thing.
There was so much to see.
The world and its problems were what my child felt this morning after coming home from school. It was the rift between my husband and me, feeling so much like I couldn’t reach him to build a connection again. The state of my work and health was the cause. I was constantly stressed out, always sedentary, and eating too much.
That night, I felt the cold fear creeping up my spine. It filled me with abject horror.
I just wanted to get rid of this fear.
This night, as well as the hundreds of nights that followed where I was unable sleep and felt so bad about my existence, I realized something important. It was a very old fear, which had played over and again throughout my entire life. Instead…