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The Aloneness of Being Made Me Love Myself

The Aloneness of Being Made Me Love Myself

“Solitude is where one discovers one is not alone.” ~Marty Rubin

“No one invites me to their party.” That’s what middle school was like for me, anyway. I was never able to make friends with anyone, no matter what I did.

I was the only one who didn’t get the instructions about where to sit or with whom to hang out.

I was quiet and reserved. And the gossipers and sleepover crews didn’t want serious and reserved. So I bounced about, making friends here and then. I never really got into the social scene.

At first, I figured it would sort itself out and I’d find my people. But middle school turned to high school. Then high school became my first year in college.

I still felt like an outsider.

No matter how often I put myself out there to try and squeeze into different circles, I’d end up alone again before long—feeling even more lonely than when I just kept to myself.

It was the worst when I tried to pretend to be someone else to fit in. And it would work…for a minute. Then I couldn’t keep up the act anymore.

Now I was an outsider. Now I felt that I had lost a part of myself which made me me. I felt drained. I was a bit down.

I finally realized I had…

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